| i can ride my bike with no handle bars, no handle bars |
[May. 13th, 2008|09:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
warning: crazy wedding ramblings
so even tho theres two years before the wedding, i'm driving myself crazy because i want to plan everything like, yesterday. we have a hall which will be the venue for the ceremony as well as the reception. it was the first one i saw online, the first one nick and i went to, and we fell in love with it. its prefect, its everything we could want. i'm currently looking at photographers and the ones i like are either way too much money, dont do albums or arent giving prices for 2010 yet. liweddings is a curse as much as it is a blessing. i'm supposed to have a photographer at the engagement party? what? speaking of, i need to get that guest list together and try to order invitations. who knew invitations could be so expensive, i also lost the direction cards capt bills gave us, i dont know where tho. its so easy to see how planning all this could get so out of hand money wise, yes i want custom cocktail napkins and yes i want those gorgeous chair covers. are said chair covers worth the 500 theyd cost to rent for the day? not really, but i do like them. if one more person asks me about a wedding dress, i'm going to stab them. i have no desire to even look at dresses, tho i've already got dresses for the girls picked out. still not sure whats going on as far as a bridal party, ideally i'd like to have that figured out by the engagement party, but who knows. because we booked the hall, we have an official date. may 15, 2010. i'm getting married may 15, 2010. holy shit, i'm getting married. yes, i've been engaged since january of this year, but its still weird to say it, i'm getting married. its crazy to think i'm going to be the first of my friends (besides angie who is getting married in november 09 last i heard) to get married. i never thought i would ever get married, especially this young. i'll be 25 when i get married, thats insane, but also perfect. then we can look for a house, enjoy being married for a bit and then start a family. one of the craziest parts of all of this is i'm not scared to do any of this with nick. its insane to think that just three years ago, i was miserable, hanging out with random jerks going nowhere in life. three years later, i'm in a wonderful relationship with the man i'm going to marry and start a family with, i've got a pretty good job that i've been promoted at in just six months, and i've got my shit together. its like i'm not even the same person. |
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[Apr. 6th, 2008|01:37 pm] |
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i havent posted in this in forever, but i keep meaning to. work is dumb, i keep getting new people that either never show up or leave after a week. i'm going to try my best to not work 10 hours of overtime every week, i cant take it, its not healthy to be stuck in that place for that long, especially going in on saturdays which is not in my job requirements. we're trying to plan an engagement party but havent had time to go look since both debbie and my parents are busy. i wish i could just take off the next two years and just spend all my time planning the most amazing wedding possible. i know nick and everyone will help me plan, but i just know if i had more free time to look things up and research and compare itd be all that much better. in a perfect world, i'd win the lottery and nick and i wouldnt have to work and we could just travel and plan this wedding non stop. if only it were a prefect world. |
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[Jan. 6th, 2008|03:53 pm] |
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suck it |
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| still cant believe it... |
[Jan. 2nd, 2008|01:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | vegas | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
i'm engaged. nick proposed after midnight new years eve/day as we watched the fireworks on the strip. he told me how much he loved me, and i cried and shook and screamed. my ring is absolutely gorgeous, its everything i could possibly want. i've never been this happy with someone in all my life, nick has made me the luckiest girl in the world, as cliche as that sounds. 2008 rang in in the best way possible. happy new year. |
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| a list of things i hate |
[Sep. 20th, 2007|09:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
i havent posted in my journal in like, forever, so i'm making a list of things i hate. i could give a shit.
- petty girl drama at work, its not high school anymore, assholes
- computers that dont work
- people who "pull a J" *april will know what this means
- asshole neighbors who back up into your parked car at night and fuck up your back quarter panel and bumper
- getting a "raise" thats less than a fucking dollar, whats the point?
- getting up early just to go to a place where all you do is hear people bitch, if they bother talking to you
- being on the phone for an hour talking to your boss when you get home from work because you cant talk to them at work for fear of your manager crying about it
- people who live in the past and just cry about everything and anything, boo fuckin hoo
- people who try to be other people because they're pathetic and are too afraid of being themselves
- having your tire blow out three blocks from your house, still not cool
- stupid people who dont know how to pay their goddamn medical bills
- stupid insurance companies who deny claims because they put an S in an id number instead of a 5
- getting forced to go to meetings that dont apply to you when you've got a ton of work that just keeps piling up
- only getting half an hour lunch break when it takes you ten minutes to drive back to your house, each way
- annoying people who cant drive
- annoying people in general
- lots of other things, but i cant think of them right now.
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[May. 14th, 2007|09:35 pm] |
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if everything in my life is changing for the better, than why arent i? |
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[Mar. 26th, 2007|08:05 am] |
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i leave for work in ten minutes, and i'm not even dressed. i feel like crap today, i've been sick all morning and my stomach pretty much hates me. i want it to be easter already. not because i like easter, its my least favorite holiday, but because i'm taking off two days and we're going to maryland. three-four days away from my house? fuck yes. |
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| i need... |
[Feb. 28th, 2007|10:21 pm] |
- this job to become permanent, and pay well
- this job also better offer benefits, because i think a therapist wouldnt hurt at this point
- to go back to the eye doctor
- new glasses, and even rx sunglasses, that way i dont kill us driving to ohio
- to save a ton of money so nick and i can finally get a place
- to try and figure out why i've been getting so depressed and anxious all the time, seemingly out of nowhere
- to start to focus on enjoying life overall instead of focusing on loathing certain details
- to quit my goddamn bitching, obviously no one cares.
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[Feb. 20th, 2007|06:36 pm] |
anyone else see a problem with this picture??
answer: it's not even remotely funny, in any way.
i've been planning on writting in this for days now, but anytime i try to it fucks up in some way, so hopefully one day this week there will be a real post, with pictures and everything. |
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| interviews |
[Feb. 1st, 2007|11:19 am] |
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i feel like going on an interview is like going on a really shitty blind date. you get nervous, and your mouth gets dry, but when it comes down to it you really dont want to be there. you have to make idle chit chat and answer stupid questions and try and impress the other person, only to be let down by that person when they dont impress you. then you end it awkwardly with "i'll give you a call", and you either know you're going to get a call and you're dreading it, or you're dreading the fact that you know you're not going to get a call back. with that being said, i've got half an hour to kill before my next interview. |
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| i write the worst journal entries ever |
[Jan. 31st, 2007|02:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | might as well be listening to bright eyes, but i'm not | ] |
I'm sick of feeling so depressed and feeling as if I have no control over anything. Its like I woke up one day and all of a sudden I was supposed to be an adult. I'm so goddamn scared of making the wrong decision or the wrong choice that I get myself literally sick over things. I feel like such a disappointment. |
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| i think theres something in the water. |
[Jan. 4th, 2007|06:56 pm] |
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everytime i go online or answer the phone, someone else is either pregnant or engaged. seriously, wtf? i dont get why everyone wants to "grow up" so fast. getting married or having a kid doesnt make you more mature, but i think most people believe that it does. dont get my wrong, certain people i'm extremely happy for and i wish them all the best, but i know others are doing it for the wrong reasons. |
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[Jan. 1st, 2007|05:03 pm] |
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so it seems a lot more people like death cab than i thought, because nearly everyone is putting the same line somewhere today. well, i'm not going to. i'm making this short and sweet. my new years eve was great, i was in my pjs watching ace of cakes and dog the bounty hunter all night with nick. we woke up late and are going to have dinner with my parents, followed by coldstone tonite. this year is going to be very different. i'm finally ready to do what has to be done. last nite i took my snakebites out, i'm going to get a real job asap. then we're going to find a place, and it'll be amazing, it'll be ours. i cant wait <3 |
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[Nov. 20th, 2006|12:00 am] |
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I feel as if things are moving and changing for everyone for the better except for me. it's like the universe decided in my twenty-second year of life on this planet, i should get shit on. i feel myself wanting to slip back into past habits and prior destructive tendencies i used to cope throughout my life. i feel so helpless lately, and its scaring the shit out of me. |
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| i'm in love, again |
[Sep. 30th, 2006|01:13 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
it's really not fair that i cant get this dog. if anyone would like to contribute to the "help nick and jess get a puppy" fund, please let me know, and i'll supply my paypal info, i'm dead serious.
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| here's a little tip... |
[Sep. 28th, 2006|01:56 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
if you're going to flirt with my boyfriend, try not to be so gross, and also dont do it while i'm two fucking feet away from him. next time, i'll punch your face in, but lets hope you're smart enough where there isnt a next time. |
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| pointless rant, dont bother reading |
[Sep. 19th, 2006|11:07 pm] |
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i know that i want to write something, i just dont know what it is that i want to write. i've been writing this entry in my head for what seems like weeks, but now that i'm sitting with my fingers on the keys, nothing is coming to mind. i need a change. this is the time of year where i get terrible depressed but do my best to hide it from everyone, its frusterating and disappointing. i stayed home tonite because i've got a cold, i alternated feeling good and feeling like shit every five to ten minutes. i hate being home, especially when i know everyone else is out. all i do is sit and think about things, most of which are past events, and i just get depressed and moody and end up crying like the little girl i am. the thought of being an "adult" is far to frightening for me to handle. i feel like if i dont get my life sorted out by like, tomorrow, i'm going to just fuck the entire thing up. i really cant stand being home right now, but i dont know where people are, and i'm not going to go out and look for people, even if i probably know where everyone's hanging out. its weird, not hanging out one night is like not going to school for a day. the next day you walk in and see everyone, and you instantly think everything amazing happened when you werent there, and everyone will have great stories to tell and inside jokes that you just wont be apart of because you werent there to witness them. when i'm in this frame of mind, i wish there was just a button or a switch i could use that would just shut my brain off for a little while so i wouldnt be getting so worked up and upset over absolutely nothing. sometimes i can honestly say i dont like how my mind works, because it feels like its just setting me up for failure. |
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| august 29th, 2006 |
[Aug. 29th, 2006|01:38 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | old people music? idk | ] |
today, i am officially old. one of my friends, who i've known for a couple years now, is engaged. i am now friends with someone who is engaged. now i'm old. |
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jessspoisondwel's journal